By standard definition, I am now a famous artist

Which brings me to to my next topic - cruelty and greed at the hands of small, adorable children. The theme for this month's art exhibit at Space 242 Gallery is Good vs. Evil: Superheros vs. Villains. Since I like to ruin surprises for everyone, here I am reproducing the three pieces that I will have in the show starting June 25.





"Lemonade Stick-up"
gouache and ink on paper (because gouache is really fun to say)





"Sodaboarding"
gouache and ink on paper

"Puppy Fight to the Death"

gouache and ink on paper

Though I can't take all the credit for the conception of these paintings. What am I saying? Of course I can. Oh alright, one of my friends helped me come up with the central theme, which is a display of good versus evil in the sense that children, who are assumed inherently good, staging criminal and immoral acts, and adorably so.

"Vacanti and Friends"

By the way, all of these are totally copyrighted so don't even think about it!!
medium: gouache on rodent

I did this for an exhibit April-May at the Space 242 Gallery in Boston's South End. It was hung beside the bar, but I swear I did not take any kind of personality test to have it put there. The inspiration was Charles Vacanti's famous Vacanti mouse, or "earmouse" as it is popularly referred to. Since I am a very famous scientist myself, I took the experiment a bit further and engineered a nosemouse and a mustache mouse, and finally painted the resulting mice. In addition to being very attractive and revered among the mouse community, they are quite obedient, and so I frequently let them play in the backyard of my apartment by themselves. The mouse with a human mustache has contributed immensely towards ending the plight of men who cannot grow mustaches by making mustache transplants available to men 13 and over whose faces do not reject the transplant.

Welcome to the Arts Bog!

Yes, you probably are in the wrong place. This is the first, but not necessarily last post on the new Arts Bog. I wanted to post some of the recent paintings I've done, but it didn't feel appropriate posting them to any of my writing blogs, where I comment on things that are of very little value to anyone. I thought art deserved its own page, where it wouldn't have to share living space with ramblings about traffic lights and hangovers.

Why the title? Well for starters, Arts Blog was taken.* Close enough. It gives me a theme to work with. Art floating around in a bog - at least a bog is a tangible thing existing in nature. Where are you going to find a blog in nature? Look around you right now (please turn away from the computer), do you see any blogs sitting around you right now? If someone showed you a bear, a medium-sized body of water, and a poinsetta, would you be able to identify which is most similar in nature to a "blog"? You would not, because blogs are not found in nature, or inside of a Wal-Mart. They cannot even be scientifically engineered in laboratories.

Also I hoped someone trying to locate the "Arts Blog" would misspell and accidentally, serendipitously, and regrettably end up here instead. If this is you, I'd advise you to stick around. Snacks may be made available!

All art is for sale, unless I decide I don't really feel like selling it to you. If interest level is high enough I may also become available for sale to the highest and most attractive bidder.

*I hadn't meant to imply that http://artsblog.blogspot.com was taken, but I love the fact that it is, and it's taken by an actual kid named Art, who posted once in 2003 because his sister (or mother? Omitted.) reads his personal diary. We never did hear from Art again, so I think we can safely assume that he was killed by his sister in late 2003. In light of this tragedy, I think we should let him keep this small corner of the Internet, and not complain to Google and have them hand over the blog name to me.